


Home sick.

by Mufffy



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Because yes, Coffee, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Gay, Homesickness, Kissing, M/M, Oh, Tea, ethan is v childish, hoodie theift, it's cute, it's cute I swear, laughing, nickname association with the color blue, the word association has ass in it, uwu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-09 02:12:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13471503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mufffy/pseuds/Mufffy
Summary: “I’m sick” Ethan cut him off, swallowing hard. Mark blinked. He knew that. He smiled lightly, holding Ethan’s face now. But sick of what? Sick of Mark? Mark opened his mouth only to snap it shut again in shock. “I’m home sick..”Mark let out a slow breathe “Oh.”





	Home sick.

**Author's Note:**

> ,,i've been obsessed with a ship lately,,, and i have admit i find it adorable,,
> 
> So uh. Not related to the story kind of but  
> I may or may not be moving to a foster home so stress and thoughts are kinda drowning me so this will,, most likely not get updated a lot. But i'm working on it. I'm heckin getting there uwu

Mark first started noticing Ethan’s strange mood when he was recording. It was some video about Net Neutrality he remembered. It wasn’t important, but what was important was when Mark was recording, Ethan randomly came in. As quiet as possible, waving at Mark to keep recording and slowly walked to the table where Mark was recording, and slowly sat down on the ground under the table, leaning against Mark’s leg. After he was done and asked Ethan what was wrong he didn’t get an answer. He wasn’t exactly expecting one, but Ethan surprised him when he just shook his head and stayed quiet. No words. No tears. Just shook his head and closed his eyes. 

Mark didn’t quite understand. Anytime he asked if something was wrong Ethan would say at least a simple ‘No’ and slightly smile. It was a little concerning at first, but after Mark sat down, Ethan still under his desk the curiosity was getting to him a little.

Mark let his hand slowly fall to Ethan’s head, running his fingers through the boy’s hair before speaking “Was it something someone commented?” Mark whispered carefully with slight concern seeping into the end of his words. A lot of the time, people would tell him he’s annoying or weird, and Mark was proud that Ethan ignored it and stayed happy. He generally was, but this slightly scared him. He couldn’t think of anything that would’ve made Ethan this upset.

Ethan shook his head, Mark’s fingers still threading through the light brown locks. Mark had to admit, he missed the blue hair a little. But hazel was nice too. Hazel hair and hazel eyes. Ethan’s silence always disturbed Mark. Especially in streams where Ethan just stares off into space, ignoring everything and how awkward he is. It almost breaks his heart to see Ethan so shy and scared he’ll be made fun of? Maybe Ethan isn’t scared to be judged, he’d never know.

“Did someone say something to you?” Mark rested his hand on Ethan’s head, still carded through his hair. The silence and shake of his head were enough to make Mark sigh. Ethan shrunk under his hand “I’m not frustrated, Ethan. Just thinking” he reassured, hearing the quiet hum from Ethan. Mark had to think more. What on earth made Ethan upset? ..A lot. What makes him purely sad though? ...A lot more. Alright. Sadness. Death. No, If someone died Ethan would be crying. Unless he was shocked. “Did someone… pass..?” He hesitated, watching Ethan’s eyes open.

“God- No!” He smiled, looking up at Mark. His smile lit up the room. Mark liked this scene. Ethan’s smile and small giggle as Mark’s hand rested on his head, his hair becoming a mess. He resisted the urge to call him cute, settling to mess up his hair even more. “Mark!” He grabbed Mark’s hand and set the palm on his forehead, closing his eyes. Mark smiled, brushing his hair back, happy to see Ethan’s smile again.

“Well, whatever’s got you down, how about we watch a movie after I’m done uploading?” Mark rubbed his head one last time before pulling away from Ethan’s grasp, looking at his computer screen. He glanced down, watching Ethan lay his head on Mark’s leg.

“That’d be nice” He mumbled, going back to looking distant. He looked happy but confused. Content but uncomfortable. It was starting to make Mark confused. He took a deep breath to clear his thoughts, messing around with editing. He started bumping his leg every few seconds, moving Ethan to hear a content giggle from the boy. He smiled, continuing until he was waiting for it to load. 

“So. Will I ever get to know what’s got you so down?” Mark leaned back in his chair, staring down at Ethan’s head of hair still in his lap. He shrugged, his shoulder bumping Mark’s leg “Please..? I’m really worried now... You’re never like this” Mark must’ve noticed the slight shrink in Ethan’s shoulders as he lowered himself against Mark’s leg “Hey, I didn’t mean it like that” He frowned, resting a hand on Ethan’s hair before putting his headphones on. It was fairly short, which was good for him. Halfway through he noticed himself looking off camera when Ethan walked in and a glimpse of hazel hair could be seen in the corner of the screen before shrinking away. He smiled. His hand started to tangle in Ethan’s hair again, watching vaguely before typing a description and sending it out. He took his headphones off, laying them on the desk and turned towards Ethan “Movie time..?”

Ethan looked up at him, smiling “I’d like that..” Ethan smiled, tilting his head and closing his eyes. Mark had to admit, Ethan always reminded him of a child, but right now it was like looking down at a maybe fourteen-year-old. That wasn't weird. Kind of... They had been dating for almost two years and he thought about the age gap, which wasn’t a lot but was still kind of a thing. A big thing to people. An even bigger thing; them being two guys. In other words: A lot of reasons they kept it a secret.

“Let’s get up and you pick a movie, okay bud?” Mark stood up, shutting his computer off before offering his hand to Ethan. Ethan gladly took it, slowly rising at his own pace to stand. Mark felt something off about his body. His weight or maybe the trembling or how cold his hands were. Or everything. Maybe he was getting sick. Damn, the last thing Mark needed was for him to get sick this coming winter. “Are you sick?” He mumbled, watching Ethan tremble slightly where he stood.

“No? Not that I know of” Ethan lightly chuckled, laughing off the nervous edge in his voice. His face turned a light pink, his eyes watering before he quickly left the room “I’ll go set up a movie-” He whispered as if he were a small child, nervous to talk to a new person. It hurt Mark. It really did.

He was sick. Understood. Sick of something or sick of someone, Maybe he was sick of himself.. Mark hoped not. Ethan was his pride and joy. His happiness, that little sunshine on a cloudy day. Mark wanted nothing more than to try and brighten Ethan’s day when he could. Ethan was always doing the same for him. Why couldn’t Mark do the same?

Be the light. Be the happy. Make Ethan happy again! Yeah, He could do it. He did it when Ethan found his dad was homophobic and Ethan was too scared to tell his dad anything after that. He never did either. So Mark kept it a secret. He cheered Ethan up when he was worried about Mark in the hospital, even though Ethan was doing most of the cheering up, Mark calmed him down. Mark comforted Ethan whenever he was about to have a panic attack. Mark could do this.

He took a breath and plastered a big wide smile on his face, walking out of his office and closing the door... His smile soon faded at the sight of Ethan in the kitchen making tea. He looked like he’d tried to stop the crying and rubbed his eyes raw to stop the tears. Mark noticed the fake smile he had plastered on. His face was pale and dull. It wasn’t bright like his normal smile. When he smiled his mouth curled and his eyes crinkled up slightly, usually his teeth showing. His eyes lit up and he looked like he was on top of the world, could do anything and be anything with just a smile. This Ethan wasn’t showing his teeth. His eyes looked tired and weren’t folded awkwardly in the corner of his eyes, his lips were pressed together forcefully and dimples were barely visible with the way he was.. Moving his mouth. That? That was not smiling. The fake tilt of his head and fake hum of happiness. It made Mark partially want to cry.

The smell of coffee broke him from the thoughts and looked at Ethan. Leaning against the counter, sipping from a warm cup of tea. Ethan only made tea when he was upset. He made it occasionally when he was too tired to bother with brewing coffee but he didn’t usually drink tea. He looked so calm now. Staring at the ground, setting his mug down to climb and sit on the counter, crossing his legs and leaning his head on the cabinet. Still a fake smile, but calmer.

Mark made his approach, getting Ethan’s attention with a knock on the wall while walking in “Tea huh?” He smiled, hoping Ethan’s smile would lift and be a little more real. Ethan looked over at him, nearly knocking his head on the cupboard, looking down at his cup before glancing at the coffee he was making “I’m just asking, relax” Mark stopped in front of him, leaning his arms on Ethan’s crossed legs “Hey ya”

Ethan glanced at him and smiled a real smile for once. And it was beautiful and bright just like how Mark imagined it. Ethan even laughed a little. “Hey yourself” his voice was still quiet and shy, but his smile was vibrant and loud. “Um- yeah... Tea is nice” Ethan blushed a little, obviously nervous.

“I like tea” Mark instantly supplied, watching the worry drain from Ethan’s face. He knew Ethan was self-conscious, but this was a little sad. To think even his boyfriend is judging him “I think it’s cute of you” Mark added and stood up more, moving his arms around Ethan’s sides to pull him closer to the edge.

“Wa- Don’t let me fall” Ethan giggled, letting one leg slip off the table, dangling next to mark, the other up right next to Mark's shoulder.

“I’m offended” Mark fake gasped, laughing “I won’t, I promise” Mark held onto Ethan’s sides tightly, pulling his leg down off the counter. Ethan now sat, both legs at Mark’s sides, arms wrapped around Mark’s neck “Am I the type of person to let my boyfriend fall off a counter if I could’ve stopped it?”

“You shot me in the back with a zing bow” Ethan muttered in Mark’s face. He looked angry, but his watered down eyes took away most of the anger. It would’ve been a sad scene if Mark didn’t find the situation so funny and Ethan’s face so irresistibly cute. Mark remembered where this was going and grinned sadly, thinking back to their arrow dodge challenge. Maybe he should’ve been a more gentle with Ethan.

“That.. is very true and I don’t have a counter for it” He mumbled, watching Ethan’s expressionless look turn into a red-faced fit of giggles. Ethan was always terrible at holding in laughter. Mark absolutely died over it when Ethan tried, especially when he would tickle him.

“See?” Ethan smiled, cupping Mark’s hands to lightly kiss him. Sweet and innocent. Quick, and so addicting. It’s as if Ethan knew the tiny little pecks and light hand holding fueled Mark to comfort him. In public when Ethan didn’t like how many people there were, his hand would always find Mark’s sleeve while his other hand was up by his mouth to chew on his nail. He was bad about that. But he would always be holding Mark’s sleeve, holding his hand, interlocking his pointer finger with mark’s pinky or connecting pinkies, somehow touching. Ethan was always touching Mark’s hands, that’s just how it was. And Mark loved it.

“Are we watching that movie or not?” Mark teased, Ethan pressing his lips to Mark’s forehead and temple. The best thing about Ethan, the need to kiss.

“Fuck- I put one on and forgot about it” He pulled away, leaving Mark to hold his sides as he reached for his tea “It’s cooled down a bit! Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing we got distracted” Ethan giggled, taking a sip before pulling away “Still hot-”

“Well, no shit” Mark laughed, pecking his lips before taking a step back for Ethan to get down. He glanced at Ethan while pouring his coffee, his actions were jerky and slow, still shaky, but better. He looked so small and scared all the time, it scared Mark in a way he was always scared to reach out to him. Mark put his cup down, turning to lightly kiss Ethan’s forehead.

“I swear you’re addicted to coffee” Ethan mumbled against Mark’s chest, pulling away to grab his tea and Mark’s coffee before jogging carefully into the living room, glancing back at Mark to stick out his tongue.

“You are such a child..” He mumbles to himself, keeping his voice low “It could be worse, I could be addicted to a certain cute boy” Mark smirked, watching Ethan’s ears turn red from behind “or certain kisses from a certain blue boy” Mark smiled.

“You know my hair’s not blue anymore so the nickname doesn’t exactly make sense” Ethan countered, putting the drinks down before sitting on the couch, patting the space next to him.

Mark huffed “Yeah, but the nickname stuck and you’re always wearing blue” Mark gestured to Ethan’s blue sweatshirt while walking before stopping “Wait, that’s my sweatshirt!” Mark laughed, taking a seat rather close to Ethan, knowing he’d curl up to him right away. Mark sat down, his arm next to Ethan slung over the back of the couch.

Cue Ethan scooting closer to close the few inches of space between them, his legs tucked nicely against his chest, sitting on his feet to hold the position. Mark had no idea how that was comfortable before recalling the boy was a gymnast a few years back. Mark shrugged off the thought, slinging his arm behind Ethan’s shoulders to rest on his bicep to pull him closer.

“Nickname association with the color blue and hoodie theft aside-”

“The word association has ass in it”

Ethan broke into a fit of giggles before full-blown laughter took over, racking his whole body “Mark!” He snorted once, burying his face in his hands and muffling his sweet laughter. Mark eventually joined in, laughing at his own joke. Mark’s deep, repeated angelic laughter mixed with Ethan’s goofy, cackling laughter filled the room. Mark took a deep sigh, trying to calm down, noticing Ethan’s laughing becoming ecstatic and broken. 

Mark smiled at him, rubbing his arm as his laughter grew. Ethan’s laughter was something beautiful, created specifically for him by the angels. Mark swears it. He waited for Ethan to take a deep breath to calm down but he never did. His laughter cracked and lowered, the happy and light bubbly giggling turning into what sounded like a weep. Mark leaned up, holding Ethan against his chest.

“Hey, Hey, What’s wrong?” He whispered, letting Ethan cry for a few seconds. It felt like minutes before he calmed down enough to finally breathe, his voice catching in his throat every so often, finally calming down to small hiccups in his breaths. “..Ethan, look at me” Ethan shook his head and whined “Ethan, what’s wrong?” He frowned. Ethan, not giving his reply. He sighed, taking Ethan’s chin in his hand to lift his face up. Ethan hesitated and looked down at Mark’s hand instead. Mark frowned, allowing it anyways “Ethan... Look at me” He whispered, waiting for Ethan to look up. He glanced up, tears streaming from his face “What’s up with you?”

Ethan stared at Mark, his lip quivering and body shaking. His eyes were wide though, wide with fear or confusion. For the first time, Mark couldn’t read him. He didn’t understand what Ethan was feeling. “I don’t wanna talk about it” was the only answer Mark could get out of him. Mark was slightly baffled. Ethan would always come and talk to him. About anything. So what changed that..?

“Ethan. I told you, you could come to me for any problem, no matter what and I’d make you feel better.. What happened? I’m trying to help you, I promise I’ll try” He whispered, being as gentle as he could when pulling Ethan in for another hug, his whole body still wracking against Mark’s. “Please. Let me help..”

“There’s nothing you could do to he-help..” Ethan’s voice cracked at the end. He was trying to be strong. Mark knew he tried, Mark admired that but couldn’t help but want to .. well, help!

“Ethan, honey. I know you’re trying to be strong and not cry and act tough. I know, I love you for it, and you’re doing a good job but right I need to know what’s wrong. No matter the issue, I’m going to fix it.” Mark whispered, kissing his head.

Ethan was silent for extra seconds. Mark wondered if he was contemplating what to say. It wasn’t that hard to understand. Whatever problem Ethan had, Mark could fix it. He knew he could, he’d fixed every problem Ethan had come to him with. So why does this certain problem change that? Ethan most likely didn’t want to break up. Although.. It’d make sense if Ethan was sick of him. That would hurt. But he’d let Ethan go... Maybe Ethan found someone else, and as much as it would hurt, Mark would let him. Whatever made him happy, Mark would let it be. He blinked back to reality, still staring into Ethan’s eyes “Ethan-”

“I’m sick” Ethan cut him off, swallowing hard. Mark blinked. He knew that. He smiled lightly, holding Ethan’s face now. But sick of what? Sick of Mark? Mark opened his mouth only to snap it shut again in shock. “I’m home sick..”

Mark let out a slow breathe “Oh.” He wasn't sick of something here. He was sick of missing the things he didn’t have.. Mark opened his mouth, trying to think of something to comprehend it all. It wasn’t that big of a deal. Ethan missed his family. Mark could risk a trip back up to Maine. “Well... Let’s go to Maine.”


End file.
